so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize