it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize