I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize