But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Jerry, you need to find god
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
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Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
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You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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