i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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