I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
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remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
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I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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