I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize