so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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