you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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