He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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