Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize