Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We're too hungover to prance.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
im on a boat
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