I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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