my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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