just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize