I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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