Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize