Do you still have your period?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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