Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize