so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize