she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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