That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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