Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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