I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize