you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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