are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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