4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize