Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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