so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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