Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize