Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize