Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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