worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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