It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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