dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
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yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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