She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
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There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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