this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
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The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
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I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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