Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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