You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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