I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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