Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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