I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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