If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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