i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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