Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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