Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Four minutes until I can fart!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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