Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize