she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize