Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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