The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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