I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i think my tv is drunk
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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